[Alestrel suggested that Ghryff, my dragon, could sear the steaks. Decided against it, we both like our meat still bleeding :) ]

Smorgys Family Restaurant - a review...

My soulsis and I, having nothing better to do, took the cubs to Smorgys for dinner yesterday.
................
It's not often that I - the Tsarina of tat - am left speechless by the decor of a place. Let me set the scene...
Smorgys bought out the restaurant chain Island Trader years ago, and I'd only ever driven past the vaguely Polynesian styled/decorated buildings, never went inside. The facade of the Smorgys we went to is landscaped with waterfalls and tropicalish plants, and the entrance is flanked by two huge pseudo-stone Easter Island type statues that spit into huge, matching pseudo-stone cauldrons, but more delights awaited us inside.

I admit I liked the salad bars set in the small sail-boats, but the fake trees, the 'cane' styled furniture and the tropical lagon waterfall thing that dominated the dining room was a bit overwhelming. It also looked like someone had raided the Zoo shop judging by the sheer volume of plush 'wild' animals stuffed all over the place; it was a bit unnerving eating my meal while being watched over by a plush vulture of all things.
The waterfall deserves a special mention. It was quite nice in an artificial sort of way, the pretend plants were good quality at least, and the vaguely (sporadically) animatronic ibises standing in the 'lagoon' were amusing. And then there was the music...
When the music starts up in these theme restarurants, something usually happens, for instance, in the LoneStar restaurants the staff do a line-dance, and in Johnny Rockets the staff used to do a 50's type dance. So, suddenly there was music and I froze, nervously anticipating a line of Smorgys' staff in grass skirts doing a haka at the patrons.
But no, we got a couple of flashing lights, and bubbles...

There was a bubble machine near the ceiling that spat out a minutes worth of stuff when the music was on. I thought this was a bit... lame, until it occured to me that when the music started every kid in the place, that was mobile, made a bee-line for the waterfall to try and catch the bubbles, thus leaving the parents in peace for a little while. Cunning. And I swear the music was from the soundtrack of Miami Vice, thus adding to the impression of being caught in an 80's time warp (I saw several 80's hair-do's, including some guy who had a classic Rod Stewart cut, dead set!).

Smorgys is one of the 'all you can eat' style of restaurants - you just don't expect the best quality food from them and I wasn't disappointed. The variety wasn't all that good, not a great selection of salad things, but along with the ubiquitous chocolate mousse in the dessert trough, there was also a quite nice strawberry mousse, though even that palled after 3 serves. *smirk*

Not in a hurry to go back there, but the cubs loved it (there was a talking tree which I'm convinced used to be in the 'Lost Forest' shop). I'd give Smorgys a 6/10 with an added point because it's within walking distance and it's cheap. : )