I thought at first that I was feeling like crap cos of the stress, but no, I have actually come down with something, a mild respiratory viral thingy the cubs brought home from school. Of course, the reason I haven't been able to shake it off is cos I'm stressed. Heh.

So how's it all going, eh? Mum had her surgery on Friday morning and that went well. She's recovering quickly and it looks like she'll be going back to the rehab centre on Monday for, hopefully, just a short while before going home. When she's home, though, that's when life will really get interesting. The half hour trip to and from the various hospitals isn't so bad and I can visit her every day, more or less. The hour long trip there and back to her home is something else entirely. I'm fighting the feeling that I have an obligation to see her just as often but the reality is that I can't. First, I do actually have a life of my own and frequent two/three hour chunks out of that will lead to nothing but resentment on my part. Second, dear gods the petrol.
Eh, we'll work out something mutually agreeable, I'm sure. Mum has friends up there who're willing to drive her around and if I can see her at least once a week that should mitigate the guilt. :)

Now, the cleaning for the rental inspection. Haven't done as much as I feel is necessary but the house is better than it was a week ago. My bed is clear! Yes, fine, the garden's still a jungle, the cubs' room is dangerous to navigate, but my bed's clear!

Hee, I was chatting with the After School Care coordinator the other day and she was telling me about the study she's been doing for the job. She was expressing amazement that she'd managed to finish a 750 word essay about Piaget's Theory. I had to physically stop myself saying: '750 words? That's nothing!'. I used to be daunted by 500 word projects. I wonder how I'd go now that I've got some word-smithing experience? Hmm...
[Edit: the Blogger spell check suggested 'smiting' instead of 'smithing' <snerk> True, sometimes you do have to beat those words into submission...]

Odd dream last night. There was a (bear with me, this is going to be sketchy) sort of Hollywood actors competition where groups were formed around different themes and they had to do... something. Can't remember. Anyway, I looked over the groups, trying to decide where I'd fit best but didn't much like the look of most of them. There was one group, however, that looked eclectic (and more interesting than the Barbie wannabes) and I thought they'll do. But then I indulged in some pathetic passive/aggressive behaviour. Instead of marching up and asking if I could join I performed so badly in the audition that no one else would take me. I was completely unimpressed with myself, but I got what I wanted.
Let's see if I can remember who was in the group. A middle-aged Japanese actress; a handful of older negro actors/actresses; a really gnarled Caucasian actor, and me. And I think they were in Deadwood style costumes. By far the most interesting bunch, but not at all popular and unlikely to win anything.

Moly: Fabulous herb with white flowers and black root, endowed with magic properties; [Oxford concise; 1974]
No reason, I just thought it was interesting...

Oops, been a while...

Well, Mum's scheduled for surgery this coming Friday. She's understandably apprehensive but determinedly not thinking about it. Still not sure how long she'll be in hospital. The plan was, initially, that she'd be going home at the end of October but apparently her therapists are making noises about keeping her in rehab for another couple of weeks beyond the surgery. The not knowing, not being able to make plans is very annoying for my organised mother. :)

She was allowed another day outing last weekend so the cubs and I picked her up and drove her home. She picked up some more bits and bobs, and met up with a couple of friends, then we trooped up to the Patchwork Teahouse for a coffee. Amazingly, I didn't buy anything! I did take a couple of photos though, and they'll be up at flickr soonish.
Had to have a nap when I got home - sooo much driving... Half-hour to the hospital; hour up to Mum's; another half-hour there and back to the Teahouse. Repeat in reverse. <shakes head>
The previous weekend's outing to the shopping centre was exhausting as well, but that was mostly cos of the crowds, I think. And then of course the cubs were clamouring to go to the Meccano Club Exhibition afterwards - which was half an hour away in the opposite direction from home. No wonder I was knackered.

On top of all this to'ing and fro'ing for Mum, I've got a rental inspection due. That's been tough. I generally choose to ignore housework - and it is a choice - but that choice is swinging 'round to bite me on the bum. <shrugs> I'll ride it out, I always do, but I'm not very pleasant to be around at the moment. Eh, at least my house will be thoroughly clean, for a little while.

Cubs' school had its official opening this morning, with dignitaries in attendance an' all. It kicked off at 8 a.m. which meant getting up at stupid'o'clock. Very, very glad we had the car. Would've been a nightmare getting down there on time by bus.
So anyway, speeches speeches blah blah, including a particularly simpering example from Federal Treasurer Peter Costello.
I overheard the person next to me say: 'He plays the audience like a violin.' Yes, but any idiot can pick up the instrument, doesn't mean it sounds any good. I've never much liked violins anyway...
I took a lot of pics but as my woodgie camera wasn't able to get decent shots of anything happening more than 10' in front of me I took a lot of shots of shoes, and shadows. <g> Had to disable the 'boing' sound effect on the camera; it was very loud.
Mercifully, the 'official' part didn't go for too long then we were able to stampede to the free food. Oh yes, the event was catered. We were each given a carry-bag of breakfast type comestibles. A plastic bowl and spoon; a carton of low-fat yoghurt; mini pack of cereal - Special K or Sultana Bran; small container of low-fat milk, and a muffin, which was probly low-fat/high GI/low sugar (I gave mine to the cubs). There was fruit, too, in baskets on the tables. Lots and lots of fresh fruit. Disgustingly healthy start to the day - I should probly do it more often.

Sue found this badfic reference!
I think my fav has to be:

"Remus allows Sirius to pick their new flat. If you're against slash assume it's for financial reasons..."

Against slash for financial reasons? <choking>
Or this little beauty:

"Draco 'ruins' Hermione's reputation by seeing her in her underclothing while a ferret and is forced to marry her."

Wait, what? Hermione turns into ferret as well? Or can her underwear metamorphose? <snerk>
Thanks, Sue!

Our ABC has started showing a documentary series - Life at One - where a group of children are followed from birth (from conception in a couple of cases!) until their first birthday. It's an attempt to define how our personalities develop, and what sorts of things influence them. The tagline of the program is 'Show me a child at 1 and I'll tell you what sort of adult they'll be'. Okay, I might be paraphrasing that but it outlines the essence of the doco.
My cubs at 1 were pretty laid-back, new situations and changes to their routine didn't seem to bother them, and they never seemed to experience the separation anxiety that other, singleton, children did. I think, according to them, as long as their brother was there all was well. <g>
Laid-back they may have been but if there was something they wanted they could be extremely determined and inventive - and they worked in tandem. Little buggers! :) Not much has changed, really.

Music!
I'm a very happy Lutra at the moment. After a couple of weeks I finally caught the name of a track I've been hearing on the radio so I was able to scamper over to iTunes and buy it! Wolf Like Me - TV on the Radio. This wasn't one of those songs that grows on you, I loved it from the opening bars, the very first time. And once I had a copy I was able to decipher the lyrics... Bonus, it's a werewolf song! I've never understood the sexiness of vampires - that whole 'undead immortal' thing just doesn't do it for me - but werewolves? Now that's something else entirely...
I've generally been having fun frolicking through iTunes, d/l'ing all sorts of stuff. Coldplay, Body Rockers, Eskimo Joe, Foo Fighters (with my other favouritist song ever - Everlong), Placebo, Pony Up, Kasabian, White Stripes. I'm working through my extensive list of must buy/replace tracks. :) A lot of what I listen to is very primal, bit hard, bit fast. There's not a lot of esoterica that makes an impression and sod all of the 'hits and memories' genre. (Gah, I sneered at that stuff first time 'round, there's no comfort in listening to it now, let alone the new commercial pap. <shudder> Gods, even the 'raunchy' stuff is so bland it makes my brain seize...)
So yes, I like being able to pick and choose tracks rather than having to buy entire albums - and while iTunes might only let me burn audio CDs, Winamp will let me rip mp3s from audio, which means new music on my phone! Woohoo! As I said, I'm a happy Lutra.

Lucky Mum, today she had me and my cubs visiting at the same time as Soulsis and her horde. <g> Probably fortunately the 4 boys took themselves off to explore the hospital grounds - it was getting awfully crowded in the room.
Soulsis brought some lovely home-made soft cakey things for mum, and some colourful eclectica for me. :) A big plastic paperweight filled with bright beads; five cute bamboo styled chopstick rests, and a hippo shaped wafer biscuit thing.

I'm taking Mum on an excursion tomorrow, a shopping trip. She's really looking forward to it, but then I remember what it was like being stuck in hospital for weeks, and just how exciting the prospect of getting out was, even for a little while. :)

<wilting> 37 degrees today. Hottest October day in 90 years. I'm not ready for Summer...

Really bizarre mix in my dream last night. The M cub was with me. An old style diesel engine pulled up. My cub knew what model it was, and that something was wrong with the 'uptake'... something. I told him not to speak too loudly cos he'd ruin the plot for the people who hadn't worked out what was going to happen. Yes, we were in a movie, along with that Jack(?)someone - the Brit actor who appeared in loads of old war movies. (Or was it Kenneth More? Tch.)
Scene change to the cubs' father industriously cleaning the house we were in the process of moving out of. (This bit, I suspect, is complete wish-fulfillment on several levels.) I half-heartedly had a go at wiping something but got distracted by a box of interesting ephemeral stuff that either had been, or should've been mine.
In amongst this Soulsis appeared, either asking for a pic of - or telling me about - a particular style of koi. It was a 'crescent' koi, basically a more or less solid colour with only a contrasting 'crescent' moon shape on it's back. Beautiful. There were letters associated with them as well (as I found out when I googled [in the dream]) - KKR? QKR? something like that.
And finally, the last thing I was looking at before I woke up was a photo or postcard of a brunette, viewed from behind. She was standing in beach shallows, looking out to sea. I get the impression of a filmy, short, belted white tunic, and I think she was holding something long in her right hand. She was accompanied by 7 thin hounds - Afghans, is the closest I can get - standing or sitting to her left, all attentively following her gaze. It was a glorious pic, beautiful composition, taken somewhere in the Greek Isles I presumed, judging by the stunning colour of sea and sky. It felt like a modern interpretation of an ancient Goddess, an impression heightened by not seeing her face.
Needless to say, it took me a little while to integrate with the 'real' world this morning.

Mum news. :)
I drove her to an appointment with a vascular surgeon this morning.
Lovely woman, clear and concise, and patient. Upshot is that mum's going to have surgery to clear out the obstruction in her carotid artery. There's a small risk that the surgery may trigger another stroke, but there's a greater risk if nothing's done. Mum was philosophical.
She was less philosophical when she found out how much longer they're planning to keep her in rehab, however. <g> Until the end of October, most likely. All going to plan she'll have her surgery during that time so she doesn't have to come back in to hospital after she's gone home.
And as I was ferrying her around I had empirical evidence of why stroke victims aren't allowed to drive for at least 3 months. After asserting strongly that she could get back behind the wheel without any problems at all, Mum then proceeded to misinterpret all the visual cues of the traffic, and lights, and signposts. After some time of me (gently) correcting her - ('We're slowing down because the car in front has stopped, Mum') - she admitted that perhaps she wasn't quite ready to drive just yet... <rueful>

I keep having dreams about living in places that have no proper toilets...

Penny and I were chatting this morning about our respective weekends. I told her about the cubs pretending to be daleks (using an old fashioned plunger as a prop). She told me about the trials of kneading 4kgs of white fondant icing for a wedding cake she's decorating. I suggested that an old Kenwood mixer would've been handy for that - then I went off on a tangential reminiscence about how much I used to love pinching the dough hook* from my mum's mixer so I could play 'pirate'. Penny laughed and said she could see the similarities between my boys and I... :)

Mum's doing well, even if she thinks her recovery isn't happening fast enough. She's having occupational therapy, physio and speech therapy every day, and later this week she'll be seeing a vascular surgeon about potentially removing the block in her artery. It's also going to be at least 3 months before she can drive - which means I'll have use of her car for that time, but I'll feel obliged to drive her around to her doctors' appointments, I suppose. <g>

And I've a new Snupin bunny to chase so I'm happy again.

(* That's not a Kenwood hook, but it's the closest I could find with a cursory search.)

Okay, some good news, finally. Mum's been moved to a rehab hospital which means she's not considered to be 'at risk' any more. Phew. I spoke to her doctor today as well and discovered it wasn't a mild stroke at all, but as it only affected a fairly small area it didn't seem that bad. One of her carotid arteries is occluded 69-70% and she may need surgery to clear the blockage. There's risks associated with that, naturally, but the doctor seemed confident it could be successful.
All being well Mum could be back home with her cat in 5-7 days. We'll have to wait and see if she'll be allowed to drive though.


Kittenkong 'helping' one of the cubs with his homework.
(I was appalled, however! One of the words on his spelling list was 'center'! I shall have to have words with his teacher...)

Speaking of spelling, I was having a hunt around for a copy of the Chronicles of Riddick DVD. Couldn't see it anywhere on the shelves - they must've sold out.
Then it dawned on me: c-H-r. <shakes head> Sometimes the blonde goes all the way to the bone...
(And yes, it was there under the correct spelling. Tch.)

I've just finished an angst-on-a-stick Snupin ficlet (only 3 pages). It's the - <counts on fingers> - fifth part of this particular plot arc and will probly be up at The Zone shortlyish. Two more fics should see it through to the end, I think.

Well, I'm certainly a little stress-bunny at the moment; I've had a niggling headache that's ebbed and flowed - mostly flowed - for four days now. In fact what I'm feeling right now is recognisably akin to the sort of stress induced by rental inspections or moving house. Which is odd, really cos I wouldn't have thought it was quite as bad as all that. Perhaps it's cos there's multiple small stresses ganging up on me instead of one huge mofo. Hm.
So what's going on?
Mum's still in hospital. She's not improved but neither has she got worse. She's capable of looking after herself but the hospital doesn't seem to be in any hurry to release her. She's waiting to see the specialist - tomorrow, I think - and then we'll hopefully have some concrete indications about her future. I know we'll both feel better once we have something definite to plan for.
I've still got Mum's car and that's a whole 'nother load of niggles, not least of which is that other drivers are so stupid, and dangerous. Sheesh - you can't trust any of them to do as expected! Being on high-alert everytime I get behind the wheel is very wearing. (Yes, I could just not use it but it saves a lot of time, especially getting out to visit Mum. 25 minutes as opposed to an hour and a half...)
Plus it was the first day back at school today and already there's a list of bitty crap piling up that I have to wade through. Gods above, why is nothing ever simple there? And is it possible to find yet another way of screwing money out of us? It all feels really sly and underhand, as well, along the lines of 'Look what's happening here! Isn't it great? Oh, by the way we need you to pay for this, and this, and this...' So irritating. Though to be fair, that perception could just be my cyclical paranoia. I'm sure I'll be all sunshine and fluff again in a few days. <grump> (The dream I had last night hasn't helped, either. I discovered that in the undersea world we were operating in, both my cubs and Penny's daughter were being deliberately held back, physically, emotionally and academically. I woke up angry - never a good way to start the day.)

<sigh> I'll survive, no doubt, I have in the past, but currently I feel I'm approaching a 'Cannot cope, off to Mordor' moment. Eh, could be worse, I spose, though I'm not going to speculate on how it could be worse cos I don't quite trust my luck at the moment...