Sunday, December 29, 2002

Anybody mind if I have a bit of a whinge? (feel free to skip this bit)
The cubs' father works 4 - 7 nights a fortnight. When he isn't working he's online, or playing computer games, or better still out having fun social interactions.
My job (cubs) is 24/7. I don't get weekends or days off, and if I want to do something fun for myself - without having the cubs in tow - outside of school hours I have to go cap-in-hand to the cubs' father to ask if he's free to look after his children, feeling all the while as if I'm being a terrible imposition to him. More than once I've had to drop out of something I wanted to do because he was busy. Yes, if I'd really wanted to go I could've made the effort and found someone else to baby-sit, but a lot of the time, by the end of the day, I just don't have the energy to deal with it and it's easier to let things slide - again.
Is this fair?
I won't go into the disparity of housework, (cos then I'll just get cross and incoherent) or how everything that goes on in the household seems to come down to me because, hey, he works/plays nights, he's not awake during the day to sort out the bills/garden/tradesmen etc. Case in point, we're getting an internet cable connection. Yay etc, but despite this all being his idea, his pushing for it, and the damn thing being installed on his machine, I was the one who had to field the (pushy) salesperson and organise the date for installation - (subject to the cubs' father's approval of course, be a terrible thing if it clashed with something else he wanted to do) - because he had to sleep during the day.
Right, having painted the cubs' father a very dark shade, I suppose in fairness I should also say that he isn't that bad. Thoughtless certainly, impulsive, definitely (Sagittarian) but he loves the cubs, tries to spend time with them and I believe him when he says their welfare is paramount, it just would be nice sometimes not to feel like I'm in this parent thing all on my own...

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