Another funny one from soulsis...
New meds for women
DAMITOL- Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
EMPTY NESTROGEN- Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
PEPTOBIMBO - Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
DUMEROL- When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
FLIPITOR- Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
ANTIBOYOTICS- When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
MENICILLIN- Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person...can we get naked now?"
BUYAGRA- Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
EXTRA STRENGTH BUY-ONE-ALL- When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
JACKASSPIRIN- Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
ANTITALKSIDENT- A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
SEXEDRIN- More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
RAGAMAT- When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving you the time and trouble of doing it yourself
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